"Oh life"

I have given myself some thought
Pondering deeply investigating what I want
In life, I thought, was simple and clear
Test my ability to uphold happiness and tolerate fear
No my dear
It’s intangible with foreshadowing what’s future and far
And cherishing the good moment’s that are present and near
Stationary and stuck hoping for progress pushing all the effort in gear
Moving towards the fog of dew, nothing seems clear
You’re confused, yielding to drops of tears

Stop

You trip, you fall, you get up, and you’re alive
Life is paused without sincere strife
Struggle through the pain in your chest from that knife
You look back, your hesitant, you think twice

Where’d you put your soul to utmost submission?
Where’s your final goal’s destination?
Will you be able to bare this long-term expedition?
And who are you through definition?

You feel lost, empty, and hollow
Looking for an individual to hold tight to and follow
Never- you’re a free bird, let your pride stand and don’t ever swallow
Play the game of life, and if necessary foul
You will sweat and struggle, but let your success be the drying towel

A Dedication to My Grandmother, May she rest peacefully

Abstract existence with thoughts reflected in concrete untouchable tears,

A glisten of hope and overpowering fear,

To guard reality from dreamful mind,

A decision is made to submerge into sanity and fine,

Actions and screams become countless to nine,

The dreadful pain is not relative to mine,

Death approaches in black and invisible

Then touches pure white skin to be truly tangible,

Lifts the soul gently and peals from skin,

Unaware of her sincere piety and emptiness of sin,

To neglect the feelings of thy kin,

Yet thy deeds bring brightness to dim,

Eyes lay peaceful and lids gently cover,

Wrinkles accent her wise past pleasure,

Serenity is reflected in relaxation

Paralyzed limbs stripped from sensation by the souls separation

A breath emerged, gasping, and two she becomes

A watching spirit observing the shocks of her dear ones

Unable to speak and let them stop-

Their tears are irrelevant, what she had dreamt is finally what she got

Shaking flesh to find her second being

Late they are, it is strength they need to cope and for healing

Loved she was, mothers of all mothers

A Keeper to my heart that has left with her

A memory and a picture she is to another

But truth she is and infinite love, in my heart she will last forever.

Conflicting feelings

separated completions

curious infatuation

confusing devastation

halted in demonstration

appalled by beautiful temptations

becomes a key to souls resurrection

death-full aggression

confusing beings in depth of suction

lust of flesh in their mental dungeon

unaware- seeking answers with out- question

decision of terminal detection
lovers of servant addictions
beyond treatment rehabilitation
to give into complete satisfaction
tugging far beyond the treatments affection
an instrumental reservation to lovers delay
bombarded by commitment or murderer to betray
reasons for understanding the scientific hypothesis
gravitational harmonization through hypnotic eyes
becomes the truthful sacrifice
to live a life and compromise
for conscious realization, easier for detachment
little is known that dominating emotions become permanent
aware of the complete devotion of this poisonous potion
sipped as water with side effects to heart's commotion.

Introduced to a familiar face

It stood there staring

discarded memory unaware of quickly recognizing

familiar characteristics revealed in movies, songs and a fairytale story

it stands staring

I touch it, it gives warmth as a response

I smell ease of erotic aroma

introduced my lips taste buds confused of alien like sweetness

it stands staring

eyes of ocean blue skies with a well indulging ones soul into captivating illusions

confusion?

conflicting emotions- feelings expressed thoroughly, becomes a committing devotion

It stands staring

no voice no rhythm but melody of existence heard without tune

Still standing

No hallucination

Its far yet near

Its sensed yet untouched

Its here but gone

It leaves but the distance is home

It masters hypnosis- with a full dosage-

of Sanity

humble like dynasty

It stands staring

at times victimized with other names

lust and infatuation

it speaks with a humble voice, I accept

Its introduced as love

and its existence-

Is me to blame

Exotic beauty with a Failed Identity

I have embraced this theme of deprivation
due to my nationality and blood flowing through my veins affiliation
to speak upon ethnic strife has become my obligation
a necessity to vent a souls mute voice
facing rape, struggle, deaths, disease and has no other choice
struggling from hunger
of not food
Of not food, but for fortunate intellectual ponder
to have verbal use of educated wonders
and awareness of worldly adventures.
Empty stomachs has been added to cultural norms
unfortunate deception from outsiders becomes nothing less of a personalities form
clothes mudded and torn-
as animals they become degraded inhuman to accomplish a selfish score
overflowing in red-
a new color of the sand of Africa's horn.
a wrinkled skin with pigmentation of cocoa in dark
discriminated amongst self and have no self-oneness to part
observe the rainbow like colors under the suns reflection
from tribe to religious and ideological depiction
unsure why such corruption?
no economical nor political progression
has lead to sociological retardation
a sore wound facing inflammation
bombarded with nonsense-like deprivation
have you seen the ability of preventing starvation?
nuts, oil, trees. Fruits. and water fulfilling soulfull purification
to this extent we have been affected with historical colonization?
ignoring the prestigious opportunities
forced to be guided by white and not think of personal complexities
confront exposure this conflicting land
observe the future in their palms hand
and dried coffee cups,
oh the aroma
smell the burnt beans picked by your grandmama
her love to you passes you out into a heavy coma
her special scent- Her Special Scent erases the worries for ya
the story telling soul that opens arms from the long distant arrivals
teaching the daily terms and affiliate self in tribal-
dress, in colorful patterns and silk prestige
forget generic conceited women that chose to be single
this land? This land embraces beauty unrecognized nor idealized with overwhelming sense of humble
make a man confused and crumble
oh this land...
a product i have become
deprivation does not overcome
the definition of countries as a sum
we each completely differ
each soul unique with its night-full vigor
not by men holding an arm waiting to trigger - a weapon
But a young child, his life to him is incapable to figure
blinded by today’s pressure
unaware of his planned educated future

see these complexities?
confusing exotic beauty
And its all.. It is all dominated by the failed identity.

My reason

i'm simple and my soul is its contrast

to clarify i'm not near your stereotypical mindset of that

don't pierce my face or tat my back

to become a shallow expression of what true poets state is at

i don't wear "african" patters to show my culture

you will realize the various clothes if you truly explore each countries venture

nor do I like to die my hair yellow and purple to stand out

mohawks and shaved side heads? eh.. isn't what i'm about

i'm not a vegan, i actually like meat

however i do like green

i haven't been raped as a teen

but i love women as they are each categorized like queens

i haven't faced ethnic strife- a struggle of slavery

isn't relevant in my historical ancestry

i don't right this because of pain

nor do i have emotional attachment and an infectious disease flowing through my veins

the dark flesh written in an "african woman's" poem is something i'm already aware of

i understand how standing under hot sun sand with dehydrating water pots is tough

i've been there- nothing to despair or not to be consciously and pridefully aware

its beauty-

I've heard shot guns and seen blood absorbed in the cracks of sidewalks

witnesses can not use words of expression to explain it through talk

my parents are first generation immigrants

i categorize myself as black because its the closest thing that seemed relevant

speaking two languages helped me write signature pieces

metaphorical similes through natures species-

I like to watch family guy and enjoy its humor with stewie's headed tumor-

I don't indulge into complete love to blind me

its beautiful but its verbally over use degrades its heavy meaning and is completely unnecessary-

I don't go to open mic nights to be accepted as an avid poet

i just do it because i simply love it.

For hearts deception

Distract me even through the distance

Never realized such emotional constriction

despite the short therm loving conviction

a soul has fell into my lonely addiction

although i avoid attending to complete attention

mind becomes a victim of psychological contemplation

difficult for abstract and concrete separation

unsure of what is truthful definition to lifestyle determination

two giving a one, becoming a term for completion?

or paper to pen and read-full dedication

hurtful to understand gods reason of soulful purification

avoiding love and works collaboration

distant to fall into mental apprehension

fall into love both book and his demeanor's reflection

forceful isolation, not give into distraction

wait for night-full skies for closed eyes imagination

paint my soul in cloudy like hallucination

complimented by thy's present-ful attention

dark time appointments in dreamful destinations

a beginner of loves membership

confused as to exact way of tending this

feelings have a way of overpowering dominance

victimized by breathless defense

simple touch of thee becomes a sense of paralyzed weakness

Mic Check: Second Continuation

poetry - to the naked eye is meaningless, not grammatically correct and just letters forming nonsense, it makes people think, its meaningful without you realizing it

fragile death in beats of vesting guard
depth unsure branched from a leafless tree
bare uncovered with thoughts of despair
searched light exiting from night skies
doubts of future hopes
sand hydratingly-blue,
drowning in dry thoughts
endless in obscurity
war with in thy self
battles of dreams and mares of day
plunged in well of sorrow
endlessly limited beliefs
curiosity questions unknown truth
awakening by the dew of morning
red shadows indulge
creations of life- a mystery of mind
overwhelming power
tolerance is undefined
strength presented at birth
beats of faith bleeds-
truth: a visual attempt to abstract touch.